Mighty Dorks

It's funny how watching an old movie from your childhood can either be entertaining or make you wish you were never a kid. Take for example, The Mighty Ducks.

One of the turning points in the movie is the insistence of the Duck's coach, (Emilio Estevez) that one of the kids on the evil empire pee-wee hockey team, (The Hawks) has to play for his team and not the one his friends are on and his brother was on. He justifies this with talk of how being a team is about being together and more than just winning, but it's clear that Estevez is only insisting on the enforcement of some provision that will force this kid to play on a team he doesn't want to because Estevez expects that kid to help his team win. It's totally hypocritical and goes totally against everything he's preaching.

About the fascist Hawks. They wear Black, they and their crowd chant, "Win! Win! Win!" their arena is back-lit red and decorated with a huge hanging American Flag like from Patton, and let's just say there's no hesitation on "sweeping the leg" a la The Karate Kid. Heck, the child actually stands over his victim and impersonates Ivan Drago killing Apollo Creed. They also must be taking performance enhancing drugs because how else can a pee-wee team based on regional lines in a single state actually win every year?

The titular Ducks meet their state's NHL team, the Minnesota North Stars. That team moved to Dallas the year after this movie. Sadly for those who appreciate dark comedy, they did not move to California and become the Anaheim Mighty Ducks (Also founded the year after this movie) as those Ducks were just an expansion team.

Does the kid take the final penalty shot while not wearing a helmet? Is that not a rule violation in pee-wee hockey?

Emelio Estevez... jeez. He is appropriately enough; to Charlie Sheen what Joe Estevez is to Martin Sheen. He's so similar, but there's no charisma at all. Guess neither of the Estevezes did enough drugs.

Sadly, it is probably not one of the worst hockey movies out there. Although I think most of the movies its better than are other Mighty Ducks movies.

Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer, Go!

Work was busy this week on one of my least favorite desks, with a lot of stuff going down that I couldn't even keep track of. Fortunately, after a trough on Thursday with system issues, everything went right on Friday and I can leave with things where I left them. Mostly. I mean basically I got the gist of it and everything's in order.

See this is a picture from the movie The Ruins.
...
It's subtle because the movie was bad, like my week.

Is it wierd that I watched some Youtube videos of F-Zero GX and now want to watch the Speed Racer movie? Or will that be another bad movie like.... House of the Dead

Here's a link to a trailer for the Thomas Beale Cipher, one of the enchanting short films I saw at the Afterdark film fest back in August. I'm curious as to whether I'll be able to see the planned other parts, if its difficult to find the first online. (I mean, do I have to find what festivals it shows at?)

However, I think this is the entirety of Frank DanCoolo -Paranormal Drug Dealer. Watch it and be amazed.

I've got some big plans for Christmas. Plans that will fix you good. That involve cooking. Not that I'm fixing Christmas dinner...because I'm not doing that. You'll see. But don't expect to be pleased. It won't be pleasing.

The white cat must smell like fish

MLS CUP 2010 TORONTO

I went to the MLS Cup here in Toronto on Sunday between Dallas and Colorado. There were however some problems. I left at around 7 to catch the Matthew Good pregame concert. But unfortunately, I guess they ended that at around the 7:30 mark. Then I had to wait until 8:30 for kickoff. It was cold and windy too. (it was really nice on Monday, but its been the rest of the week) I also forgot my glasses, which wasn't too bad; but it did bother me that the first time I'm sitting at the north end of this stadium, and all the goals were scored at the south end. Though I did get a good view of goal #2 on the television monitor I was watching in the concession line. Argh.

Pictured: Argh

Some Dallas fans had made the trip all the way up here to Toronto. They moved as a group and had brought a lot of flags and a drum. They were actually outnumbered by fans of the other contender, but made sure to make up for this by being very audible throughout by way of chanting and drumming.

Was it always common practice for us to sing our national anthem at sporting events? Or was that a more recent thing? Whenever singing O Canada, people try to avoid belting it out, but everyone knows the rhythm and words so its always a very low harmony that sounds nice. After the anthems, they set off fireworks. A lot of them. Or perhaps that was to help warm up the stands.

The game itself was pretty scrappy, probably because the ref kept himself out of it even perhaps when he shouldn't have. Dallas with their aggressive style came on fast, but as we approached the later hours, I saw Colorado begin to take over offense. Dallas scored first with a good high angle assisted goal, but Colorado struck back in the second half to tie it up. The Colorado goal scorer kicked a loose ball in while on his back which may have characterized Colorado's scrappy play style.

Pictured: Scrappy play?

In overtime, Colorado scored again to take the lead. A Colorado player got near the goal from the side and an attempt to cross or curl the ball into the net was deflected in off of a Dallas defenseman. Some call it an own-goal, but it really didn't look like one to me. The goal scorer actually managed to injure himself and after rolling around celebrating, found himself unable to leave the pitch to the consternation of Dallas who believed him to be deliberately trying to eat up the clock. There was a physical altercation and the ref handed out yellow cards. Colorado actually had to finish the last 10 minutes of extra time a man down because they were out of substitutions before the injury.

Pictured: The game's MVP

Dallas retook the offensive and had multiple big chances, and almost succeeded at putting the ball in the net. They really seemed to come alive. Either they needed a reason to become aggressive again, or they really were able to take advantage of the additional man. However they were unsuccessful and Colorado won their first MLS Cup.

Pictured: Shiny

Perhaps it was the lack of celebrity, the weather, the paucity of promotion, or the fairly late hour for a Sunday game; but the stands were not totally full. Maybe 80-90% of the seats were filled, though I think it emptied out more as the game moved to extra time. I guess people really needed to get home in time to sleep. (Most people aren't as close to home or as much as a night owl as I am)

It was pretty fun in spite of the chill. This may not have registered big in the media today, but one day if this league becomes big I can say I saw this event.

Aussie Madness

I think it must have been Peter Weir night on TCM yesterday. They were playing a couple of the Australian director's films like Gallipoli and The Last Wave. The former is a really good movie with a lot of symbolism about Australian youth going off to get killed in Turkey. (A good scene was the one where the 18 year old protagonist is trying to describe to a backwoodsman why he's going to war against Germany by going to Turkey)

The Last Wave is a surreal creepy movie about an Australian lawyer who is enlisted to defend some aboriginees who are accused of murdering a man. As this goes on, he begins to discover a connection he has with the aboriginees, or more accurately his connection with the spirit world. Amid worsening weather in Sydney, he has visions of a tsunami catastrophe. I thought the movie was pretty good; but its also pretty simple, and a lot of the film is the protagonist talking to one guy who neither acts nor says much. The synth music is really atmospheric, but until the movie starts coming towards its conclusion there's not much going on. I could it see it being boring if I were paying more attention. One thing that's obvious is that Weir is a really good director when it comes to atmosphere and symbolism.

The third movie of Weir's they showed was Picnic at Hanging Rock, a movie based on a book that a lot of people came to believe was about a real event, but wasn't. A scenic trip by Australian girls in a private school in 1900 becomes a tragic mystery when four disappear for unknown reasons. This movie was really good and would have made it onto my scariest movie list if I'd seen it last month.

I was able to get a ticket to the MLS cup final on Sunday between Dallas and Colorado. A lot of the ticket were going for prices of like 60+ dollars, and even the resale ones seemed to be for face value only. Fortunately, I got a very cheap ticket at ticket hub. Some there were even going for 25 dollars after fees. I got one at a good section of the stadium for 30 dollars... which seemed actually a better deal than I could get for tickets at previous games. It was weird that there was such a disparity between the prices I could find the same tickets at for this event. There's also a free concert by Matthew Good before the game, though I may not come when it starts as there;s both rough weather expected, and a CFL playoff game on.

Send in the Clowns

Didn't do too much over the weekend. The Buffalo Bills were in town and brought a giant inflatable football player with them. A shame they didn't let him play as they may have needed the help.

Tooth delay: My dentist is out of town, so I'll have to get my tooth fix over my lunch break next week.

I saw this on the weekend on the SPACE channel; The Clown at Midnight, a horror movie starring ....Christopher Plummer?!

Well, more like featuring....

As the pictures above may suggest this isn't so much a horror film as it is one of those tiresome and forgettable late 90s slasher movies trying to bank off of the success of Scream.

The titular clown at midnight is a reference to a Lon Chaney quote mentioned in the movie, wherein he suggests a clown may be fun at the circus, but one appearing at your door at midnight would be a terrifying thing. Certainly true, although I think this movie doesn't really get why that may be.

Pictured: Lon Chaney in London at Midnight

A opera clown doesn't really seem an out of place character when he's hanging out in an opera theatre, nor does he contrast with other slasher characters who invariably wear disguises. The only notable difference being that the clown's visible features could really be beneficial to a good actor.... instead of being wasted in the usual silent and understated manner of the slasher killer as it is here.

I wonder if she smelt that?

The movie got on my bad side despite having some things going for it, and I think most of that can be pinned on the terrible staples of the average lame-O slasher movie. The cast of characters is really annoying and filled with stereotypes like the post-Will&Grace gay guy, the best friend, a space case who's into spiritualism, the ludicrously bitchy ice queen, (Seriously, this is way over the top) the jock, and the prankster character as seen in three or four Friday the 13th movies. The main character meanwhile is an over sensitive girl who has psychic visions, (Never explained BTW) about her mother's murder at the hand of an opera clown. (Dead parent being another holdover from Scream) These characters seem to lack any sense of tact and will often fight over nothing and act like complete jerkoffs. Unlike the victims in older slashers which are either naive, sleazy, or prudish, the 90s slasher tries to make every character annoying.

These kids are fixing up the youth centre... I mean theatre where the protagonist's opera performing mother was apparently iced by a clown. Along with the Lon Chaney quote, further evidence of someone's brain power behind this movie is hinted at in the naming of the opera Pagliacci as being the one they were performing during the ill-fated tour. (Pagliacci apparently being a fourth wall breaking play where a jealous actor playing a clown murders his actress wife 'for reals' thus interrupting the play with the play)

Its hinted at early on that the clown murderer may not be the murderer, and may even be still in the theatre, (All of which is true --rumors are never red herrings in these movies) however its not immediately obvious to me when the prankster manages to terrify the protagonist by dressing up like the guy who killed her mother, (Serious WTF was he thinking?) that she will fall for him later on.

The move starts off trying to be ghostly with mysteriously unlocking doors, visions, and blood on the floor of the murder scene that hasn't dried after decades. (Once again ...Never Explained!) Psychic girl finds out from something her mother left behind that the clown was probably her father. There's a short lived attempt to portray the prankster as perhaps unhealthily interested in a clown costume as if to point the finger at him. Don't worry though; things will get stupid and predictable soon enough.

The clown uses secret passage ways in the theatre to sneak around and kill the teenagers for no obvious reason since he's after only the one person, while the teens slowly realize that they're being hunted. Now the victims actually manage to show a glimmer of brains and humanity at this point, and plan to escape to the roof and signal help, but its far too late for them as the movie needs to follow a certain annoying circuitous pathway towards a final reveal and confrontation. The victims are separated for a variety of stupid reasons and diverted from what should have been a good plan of escape so that the clown can murder them through a variety of different means. Oddly, there seems to only be a half-hearted attempt to create variety or a theme, and there's really nothing frightening, shocking, campy, or even consistent about a rampage that includes an electric chair setup, a fake clown hand, a spear... what is this? Just use a knife or stick to theatre stuff.

Someone out there still has some talent, and tries to play around with things like dropping sand bags onto the set from above, or having the clown pretend to be a painting by standing in a frame, (Though nobody was looking so that's only for our benefit) but its mostly wasted.

After all the chaff is killed, only prankster and psychic protagonist remain and they're getting along just as well as the protagonist and her romantic lead should. They find the clown's dusty home inside the secret passages, and determine that the clown-father accused of murdering her mother is probably not guilty of that murder. They are then separated and psychic girl eventually finds herself confronted by the clown and Christopher Plummer ...who's character is so not in this film I don't even know who he was supposed to be. The clown and Chris both try to convince the psychic girl to come to them and then the clown-father gets pissy at Plummer for betraying him and leaving him couped up in the theatre for decades. He rushes Plummer and suffers a terrible fall and dies. Also he had a poor Italian accent.

Plummer reveals that he was the killer the whole time, which clearly shows there was a rewrite at some point. (I suspect the shift away from the supernatural at the beginning of the movie was similarly a rewrite, like in the other theatre-set slasher movie Popcorn)

See --it couldn't have been Plummer. He puts on the clown makeup and doesn't look anything like the killer. The clown apparently took on the football jock victim while unarmed on the roof of the theatre too, (Its funny because he was really unhanded because he offered his hand to the jock while he was holding onto the ledge and...you know how this goes; remember the ledge scene in Batman?) which would have been difficult for a poorly fed dungeon clown let alone a senior citizen. Also, if the clown father wasn't a crazy killer how come he was still wearing the clown makeup all this time...and living in-between the theatre's walls? We're told later that her father was trying to help them the whole time...but no he wasn't.

Plummer now wants the psychic girl to take her mothers place in ...a performance? A relationship? I don't know what the killer is trying to do. Or why he needed to kill anyone. Or why he helped the clown father hide out in the theatre. I get he was jealous of the clown being in a relationship with the protagonist's mom, but that's it. He's also seated all of the corpses of his needless victims in the seats of the theatre so they can see Plummer totally chew the scenery while threatening the girl who he has an very unhealthy fixation on.

Anyway, prankster shows up and he's dressed like the clown and he fights Plummer unsuccessfully but survives. Funny that Plummer worked so diligently to eliminate everyone else in the building and then just forgets one of them. Can he not count? Plummer is dropped down a trapdoor by the protagonist. One which conveniently doubled as a storage space for sharp pipes.

Falls well that ends well!

Prankster and psychic girl are safe now and they kiss. In a call back to an earlier insult, the girl jokes that his people skills are improving. They laugh and exit the theatre together. Rolls credits.

Pictured: People skills improving

I just can't get over that. "People skills?" Ha. That is so funny!

Your friends are dead. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Your father died in front of you.

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH



HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I'm glad she's decided to take this all in stride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Between this clown mess and Dracula its clear that its best if ladies make sure to let the guys down quickly and decisively to avoid any dangerous murder sprees or unhealthy attachments.

Pictured: An unrequited love story

Escape from Castle Dracula

Dracula: A Love Story at Casa Loma Thursday night was a mixed experience.

On a technical level the play was kind of a mess. The production staff and their equipment was far from invisible during the play, and the dialogue wasn't great. Dracula set the tone for the acting early on when I heard his cartoon-y east European accent. When he introduced himself to Jonathan Harker, he is proceeded, (or followed) by a blast of mist from a fog machine easily visible on the floor. They couldn't even put it just behind the corner where he emerged from. Sometimes it was a little hard to hear the dialogue sometimes because the venue was so voluminous and sometimes characters were running around. A lot of the characters were also very thin and poorly developed.



The music and songs likewise didn't really seem to add much because this play didn't attempt to be a musical with lots of memorable performances. Instead we just sort of got some singing just dropped in but seemingly only in the first half. So the pipes were kind of wasted. The organ/piano music was also not very melodic or memorable...or used consistently. A lot in this play just seemed thrown together.

The events of the story also proceeded at a strange pace. There was a cross between correspondences/monologues and other scenes, (A neat idea) but I don't think the play really took advantage of the use of the perspectives. Instead you might get a scene where a person's diary flat out provides exposition about Dracula which they have come to by seemingly magical means. Some scenes were good or creepy, yet didn't seem to have any reason to exist.
The play was subtitled as An Unrequited Love Story, but that didn't seem to have anything to do with anything as the story was more a black and white conflict rather than a dramatic horror.

The show was at its best when it was being campy, funny, or melodramatic. There were a couple of funny moments: The doctor seemed to think he could impress Lucy by talking about male genitalia, and Arthur the 'gentleman' seemed pretty much a weenie. (His suit seemed too big for him which would make for a good metaphor if I wasn't sure that it was probably just a lack of a better fit)

Pictured: More costume difficulties

Renfield was this fat, happy, lunatic and lit up the show whenever he was on the scene; Dracula takes a zombie-like Mina to a vampire ball where Dr. Van Helsing insinuates himself into the crowd by pretending to dance along; There's a fake decapitated head, and the musical coordinator is dressed as the Phantom of the Opera.

Sometimes between scenes we were just directed to the next spot, but other times we would be compelled to follow either a precocious paperboy, or a demented Van Helsing, or lured off by Renfield running away from an orderly, (Maybe not a good idea to get a crowd of people to run down back corridors and thin steps though) and you'd see somebody pretending to be a corpse in one room as you passed by.




Casa Loma was also a pretty neat place. There was a large open entry hall overlooked by the master bedroom's balcony, a conservatory(?) with white floors and big windows and a dome roof. The library was the old style with glass cases for books and a lot of space. The basement doesn't really look period though. Unlike The Turn of the Screw we didn't have so much period lighting and the rooms were generally bigger. Also, that play was much more confined to a residence than this play was, which probably made it work better even though a period house downtown would not seem more impressive than a castle on a forested hill. Still, the Casa was a nice place and its usually pretty great when you have an interest set and get to move around in it. Nice view from the hill too.

So the play was pretty fun and it was a pleasure to spend the evening this way, but not quite technically one of the better plays I've seen.

Arrrgh!

I didn't have a great day yesterday. Work was a pain, a calculator melted my chocolate, (Yeah, that happens apparently) and I think the molar filling I got in June fell out. Or disappeared or something.

There's a gap in my tooth that I didn't notice, and I've got major sensitivty there now. It reminds me of the day I got my last cleaning and was told I'd need the work done; I hadn't noticed a gap or sensitivity until after the checkup, and it felt like this. I don't want to go back to the horrible dental office I'd been going to before, (Always makes me wait, costs a lot, very rough treatment, and now this) but I don't think my insurance will cover another operation within a mere six months of the last one. I don't know whether its possible to get a freebie either; if I'd want one. Maybe I'll just wait for the sensitivity to go down and then just get it fixed with a new dentist in March. Does anybody know a dentist who can give some advice?

Today I'm going to Casa Loma, but predictably, unexpected and unlikely events and my temporary position have conspired to make my schedule tighter than it should have had to have been.

Return to Castle Dracula

I didn't exactly have all that interesting a Halloween. There was a haunt at the old Power Station in Ebiticoke, but it was kind of too far away for me. I missed out on a late midnight show at the Lightbox because I mistaken assumed that 12:30AM Sunday was Sunday night instead of Saturday night. I missed out on another Lightbox showing on Friday. The classic Cabinet of Dr. Caligari presented with a live orchestra. But when I read the email alter about it, (Sent on the same day of the performance) I had already purchased tickets to the final home game for the Toronto Argonauts.

Regarding that, I know unfortunately have the opportunity to see the Argos lose three different ways. This time was the kind where the game slips through your fingers. There was an exciting ending featuring a missed field goal but the end wasn't in doubt:



I was situated on the 200 level this time which was a different experience from the end zone in the other cheap seat section. The view of the field was excellent, though I was further away. The concrete supports and nearby walls did block my view of some of the rest of the stadium. You can't really see the fullness of the stadium and crowd from where I was. Also, most of the closer endzone was obscured. I think partly this was due to being in the back rows of the section instead of the closer rows. (The consequences of buying late I assume) There was a television monitor nearby since I couldn't see the big screen, not that I really needed to. I noticed that the concourse on the 200 level is not as stylin' as the lower bowl's. Smaller bathrooms, less stores and more concrete. I guess that's because all of the lower bowl seats share the same concourse, while the section I was in is just cheaper seats.

In both games I've been to I've found it odd that there always seem to be a couple of people who stop by and sit down for a while, then disappear at a break never to return. As if people are brought in for the show but only temporarily, or have free reign to go wherever they want.

My experience at going to sports events so far has a poor record when it comes to crowd pleasing wins. The home team, (Whomever they may be) is 1-4 when I'm there. If I were a coach, I'd be sacked.

Sacked!

I had the opportunity to see the north building for the St. Laurence Market, which I hadn't even known existed some of the times I'd been over there. I wasn't missing anything. It seemed like a mostly abandoned grade school gym with a couple of tables and loading doors. Some produce and candles too.

As a late Halloween style experience, I have scheduled a visit to Toronto's own crazy mansion, Casa Loma for an adaptation of Dracula. (Not unlike The Turn of the Screw show I saw downtown last year) Of course as good as that show was, I suspect a mansion may be more inspiring than just a regular period house.

Top 20 Scares

I have trouble remembering all of the various movies I've seen over the years, but here is what I'm thinking is a good approximation of the scariest movies I've ever watched:

Honorable mentions: Halloween 3 and The Tingler.

I think both of these get a bad rap because they contain elements that are ridiculous. The titular Tingler, or robot druids. But they also contain a lot of really good frights, mystery, and creepy scenes despite what they're known for.

20. Evil Dead 2:A horror comedy, but I think the scare scenes are still really solid. Ash's descent into the basement of the cabin is pretty tense, especially since your wondering when he's going to be attacked or why an old cabin has such an enormous basement.

19. Pan's Laybrinth: I think it helps when you go into a movie and don't realize its even supposed to be a horror movie. The fantastic world seen in the visions of the young girl protagonist is pretty gruesome, but unfortunately no more so than the real world whether today's or in the fascist Spain where the movie is set.

18. The Blair Witch Project: I remember checking the time on the VCR while watching, trying to determine how much longer it would go on. This movie alternated between annoying people, and genuine fright. The woods have seldom looked so frightening, but being so far from civilization, not knowing whats watching you, and then finding that freaking house... pretty scary.

17. Night of the Living Dead: The very concept is horrifying, and this is the purest representation of it. The monsters here look less like a make up tour de force and more like drugged out messed up humans. There beating down the walls and stumbling towards you, faster than you'd like, like wide eyed animals.

16. 1408:This haunted hotel room story isn't quite scary in the last twenty minutes, but it manages to use a lot of jump scares, nightmares, creepy people, and claustrophobia to make a terrifying movie. The bit with the lamp is unforgettable for its ability to play with the audiences expectations.

16. The Sixth Sense: The end is not really scary, but the first parts of this movie are really tense. This little kid seeing all these chilling ghosts makes it seem much more dangerous.

15. Psycho: I shouldn't need to describe this to you.

14. The Mouth of Madness: Lovecraftian or Stephen King? This movie features a Sam Neil as the agent of a book publisher trying to hunt down a missing writer. They find a town that shouldn't exist filled with dozens of creepy scenes and monsters. This search is a nightmare, and finding out that truth is exactly as strange as fiction is the most terrifying thing for Sam Neil. (Though I suspect he viewer may find that not as scary as country roads frequented by people riding bikes at night, or old ladies that are secretly axe wielding demons)

13. The Fog: Like Night of the Living Dead, but with a touch of ghosts. There's the kind of fear from oncoming violence and the kind fo fear you get from unnatural forces.

12. Messiah of Evil: An eminently creepy public domain movie. A young woman searches for her missing father, while a cursed town goes to hell. Very tense and creepy. We can see that everything's closing in on the characters, but they don't know when to get the hell out of dodge.

10. The Amityville Horror: Admittedly, I'm probably as much afraid of the creepy Unsolved Mysteries episode. But this movie has a lot going for it like the way it seems to avoid resolution, that its more like just a series crazy unexplained but malevolent events that drives a family nuts, ...or the weird guy who appears at the screen door.

9. Halloween: Excellent stalking movie. A very simple concept directed and filmed very elegantly in a way that most copycats don't understand.

8. Meshes of the Afternoon: An experimental film I saw in film class. Very dreamlike and repetitive. But you never knew what was going to happen. A key could turn into a knife, gravity could fail as you run up some stairs, that mirror faced person, a corpse.



7. The Thing: The Thing manages to combine a whodunnit with jump scares, and even manages to get worse when you can see what's been hiding from you. I wouldn't have wanted to be in the first audience to see this.

6. The Shining: I don't think I need to explain this one. The hotel is creepy enough, but the ghosts whether it be the twins, or the way they start showing up the end seemingly to mock the desperate Shelly Duvall, or the bathing lady scene. Yikes.

5. Evil Dead: Sam Raimi shows how good he is at creating jumps scares with his breakthrough cult hit. Much like its sequel mentioned above, this movie showcases a shrinking cast of desperate crybabies trapped in an old cabin by violent demon possessed persons. Kind of like The Exorcist meets Night of the Living Dead and Halloween. Really well directed and violent; winces and shocks abound.

4. The Changeling: George C. Scott stays in a creepy old mansion with a dark secret. Who is this ghost? What do they want? This movie uses a lot of the old creepy noises and sounds to great effect. Some scenes are extremely creepy or startling. The Japanese movie The Ring took a bit of inspiration from this movie.

3. The Haunting: Classic old scary house. Noises, darkness are scary, but crazy voice-overs and great camera work can be the most frightening.

2. Off Season: This is the story of drunk drifter who robs vacation cabins in the off-season. Then he comes across one cabin which seems more like a getaway for Jigsaw from SAW. I got a clip, though its not of one the scary moments. This movie introduces isolation and creepy homes and takes them to an extreme. The mystery of the whole thing helps to put the audience in the position of the victim.



1. The Lady in Black: Gah! This was actually a Brit TV movie that is out of print. I had to get a copy the old fashioned way...the internet. A young man is sent to arrange the sale of home outside of the small town. Unfortunately its haunted by a black clad old woman who curses those that come into contact with her. This is the story of a hateful ghost that appears more and more frightening with every appearance. Learning the secrets don't help, and the biggest single scare manages to do the near impossible. Even knowing when it was coming didn't prevent a state of shock of nearly 30 seconds. But when you think its over...it ain't over.

Toronto Votes...and the Horror!

I voted today. Unfortunately, I wasn't on the list again because ...I guess Elections Canada divisions don't share information for some reason. It only took a minute though, but the line was 20 minutes.

Our ward elected Layton's kid, and Ford is Toronto's new mayor. I cringe, because Ottawa just banished, (in 3rd place) their own version of Ford, (Who admitted that his term was a disaster) on this same night. I don't use many services, but I do worry about there being more homeless or if Ford tries to screw with the streetcars like he said he would. I was looking forward to boring politics and an exciting city in Toronto. Instead politics will get very 'exciting'.



I've also been watching a lot of movies of late, many on television and some online.

I saw the Barbarian Brothers, eXistenZ, The Cat and the Canary, The Toxic Avenger, Dracula, Frankenstein, Deathstalker 3, Attack of the Giant Spiders... yeesh.

eXistenZ is an action/thriller movie from 1999 about virtual realities that wasn't The Matrix. The production was a Canadian one, and it does look like a television serial instead of a movie. The effects are lousy, the acting is weak, (Jude Law MIA) and there are no sympathetic or compelling characters. The concept is cool, and I like how the game designer treats her organic/virtual reality console like her child. Also, the confusing layers of reality and conspiracies helps the whole concept. Not bad, but it could have been better.

The Toxic Avenger can be bought this movie for your iPhone. It's a Cr-App. Seriously; the sound is poorly dubbed over, the sets, lighting, filming, acting is like a crummy porn movie from the eighties. This movie is outclassed by the Jason movies. By Basket-Case even! Ick. Tasteless hardly describes it. It's like they're trying for Evil Dead-like cartoon gore, but getting something more mean spirited like Hostel --and still trying for laughs.

The main character is a 'nerd' who gets mutated into a homicidal 'hero' mutilates bad people...and not even violent ones. It's funny that this movie sees a 'nerd' as someone who is very physically and mentally retarded. Despite what the official synopsis may tell you, it's clear that his own stupidity is the cause of his mutation.

Deathstalker 3: Not as interesting as the Barbarian Brothers.



Barbarian Brothers: Wow. At first this looked bearable as a poor sword and sorcery movie where two separated brothers are trained by a too-clever-by-half villain to each kill different man in a distinctive mask. The trick being, they are released to fight each other each wearing the others target mask. (If you can't get it, the annoying narrator helps you figure out how this works) Then the movie switches gears as the stars try to 'act'.

Oh wow. They are really bad. At first this is funny, but then you notice that they're just mugging for the camera and it becomes annoying. Still, the movie has such memorably bad moments as:

The heroes dropping their weapons, then asking their friends for weapons. Of course their friends top the stupidity of the titular twins by insisting while holding weapons that they have none. After failing at an attempt to buy weapons, and adventurin' a bit, the twins are told to go get the 'sacred weapons'. Magic weapons that they knew the location of the whole time. Oh... that hurts.

Another classic is their barricading a tavern door from the outside. A door that opens inwards.

The Cat and the Canary is a silent film from 1927. It's a thriller/spooky movie that was remade with sound in 1931, (A film that no one has any copies of anymore) and in the 40s. It helped pave the way for Universal to make Dracula. The version I saw on Youtube had no sound OR score at all, but was still a fun watch. The movie is about the inheritance of an old wealthy man who ordered his will sealed for twenty years. All of the inheritors are brought on the appointed night to his old (haunted?) mansion. The will specifies a sole inheritor who must stay the night in the house and subsequently prove they are sane. The movie is clearly made to be less scary for the sensitive early movie goers, but it's creepy looking. The house is home to secret passages, a monstrous escaped killer, conspiring relatives, possible ghosts, and even the doctor is kind of terrifying. It's a good movie.

This clip actually seems to have the score

On the downside, they work in the phrase in the title way too many times in the dialogue. The old man's relatives eyed his fortune like a cat eyes a canary, the psycho kills his victims as if he were a cat and they a canary, etc... You only need to name drop a title once.

The classic Bela Lugosi Dracula is quite good. The music is haunting and frantic; almost entirely strings. Very unique for a haunting soundtrack, there is no piano.

I like how Dracula is made sympathetic, (unintentionally?) while still acting like an evil bloodsucker. Seeing Dracula rise up in his huge empty crypt and his desolate run down castle makes his life look really sad. Unlike in the 90s Bram Stoker's Dracula, he doesn't look like he enjoys living out there. He looks like the living dead. His trip to London to walk amongst the night loving crowd of London seems like he just needed to get where people were. The wolf misses being around sheep. (Also kind of reminds me of Jack the Ripper a little) Lugosi talks like an alien, but sells all of the dialogue, including the memorable "Children of the night..." line. He also has good chemistry with the cast.



The others actors are almost without exception pretty great too; especially Renfield. The sets are really great too. The abbey and castle sets look enormous. The ending is a let down though. Like they just couldn't figure how to finish in an exciting way without giving the audience the vapors. (Although the Cat and the Canary managed better)

Be Kind... Rewind was supposedly a movie about Jack Black and Mos Deff making their own versions of Hollywood blockbuster to replace their video rental store's wrecked library. Those are the best parts of the movie. The rest includes the straight man in the comedy duo (Mos Deff) acting as is he was mentally deficient; Jack Black getting cartoonishly electrocuted and exhibiting magnetic powers, (Also, magnetic urine!) until the movie remembers it's supposed to be about videos at which point it drops that; bad acting and dialogue, and a lot of fake-ass sentiment about community building through movies. Awful film that doesn't seem to know what it's doing.

We ARGOing down!

So I thought I was going to an important Canadian Football game between Toronto and Hamilton for second place in CFL East Friday night, but I thought that meant both teams would show up.

30-3 was just depressing. I was sitting in a good spot but I still didn't get so see the Toronto Argo'nots do anything. I saw the opposing team do plenty of cool things, but it's hard to feel good about jumping TD catches when they provoke more chants of, "Holy mackinaw, Tigers eat 'em raw!" from the half-drunk Hamilton fans.

When I bought my last ticket for the bronze section through a concierge last time I had paid about the same as I would for these seats in the touchdown zone. Maybe it was because I brought my glasses this time, but I could see more. I couldn't estimate the movement up and down the field well, but I did know what people were doing. I had some trouble doing that from the bronze zone which was diagonal from most of the action. Also, I think I was a lot less cramped. That may have been because there were few sitting next to me, or maybe the backless benches in the touchdown zone had more room than the small chairs in the bronze area. I notice plenty of people actually standing on the concourse level above the seats, just leaning on the railing to watch the game rather than sitting. It's a good view. (Note the sixth picture) But then I've come to find standing at an event to fairly comfortable when I saw soccer games in the fanatic section.

Boing!

At half-time there was the Wendy's Kick for a Million, in which the kicker won $36,000 for his final kick going 36 yards, and a car for successfully kicking from the 30 yard line. It's neat that this contest both guarantees some money, and also is certain to have someone capable of at least a little well, due to the elimination rounds. I took note of the fact that someone dressed up as a Frosty was on side for this event. Fortunately he didn't knock out Matt Dunigan and carjack the winnings.

Never turn your back on a Milkshake though.

The Skydome makes good use of downtime during a game with contests, prizes, and tomfoolery. Stuff like dancing, having people build a Baconater in 30 seconds, or trying to get the Saskatchewan Roughriders to kiss each other. The stadium is a part of the entertainment.

Give'r!

"If this were a real accident, you'd all be dead now! ...here are your safety certificates." --Oil worker safety certification officer.

I went out to see the Canadian Indie movie FUBAR II last night playing at the Scotiabank Plaza. I never saw the 2002 original mockumentary, and I passed up the opportunity to see it at TIFF, but the positive reviews encouraged me to drop in. Also, Tuesday is cheap ticket night.
The theatre smelled a little weird but it wasn't newfangled smell-o-vision, but rather a service dog that a movie goer brought with them.

This movie isn't quite the faux documentary the last movie was, but it is still shot in the same style and characters occasionally talk to the camera as if being interviewed. I guess the director wanted to use the same look, but didn't want to give up shots that a documentary crew could not have.

Dean and Terry are two Albertan metalheads who, upon recovery from Dean's testicular cancer scare and eviction from their Calgary home, head to Fort MacMurray to get lucrative work in the oil sands. Delightful hijinx ensue. You may have read a review in the Globe and Mail.

When you combine the film style and the subject matter, it's a lot like the Trailer Park Boys. So you can probably guess that most of the movie is them screwing around a lot while real world drama creeps back into their lives. I found this movie really funny, and it surprised me a lot of time. Also, I don't think I've ever seen a movie about either Canadian rednecks or Albertans.

Fort MacMurray looks like an alien landscape. As if instead of sprawling suburbs as far as the eye can see, it's industrial buildings. The lights on the horizon look like an orange city. Dean, (Or Terry) even refers to the orange lit smoke on the horizon as the northern lights. It's not a big part of the movie, but it sure is striking when they first arrive. Also, the West Edmonton Mall looks crazy. I should mention that the acting is excellent.

~~
On a less amusing note; when I returned home I was alarmed by an incident where someone was stalking around the balconies and patios of our building nine floors above the ground. One of my neighbors was getting some people to call the police, and I saw them arrest the prowler on one of the patios below my window.

I find it weird that someone could get up here without having some way down or some place to get back to, unless they were originally up here and were locked out or something. He may also have been drunk or high. (aha pun!)

Behold the world of tomorrow!

I expect to be busy this coming Saturday. I'm getting a ticket to see the Argonauts play the Saskatchewan Roughriders in the afternoon, and I'm going to go out touring afterwards for the annual Nuit Blanche event. I hear they've made it even less spread out than before. I'm a little worried this may mean big lines or bad atmosphere.

That should take up just about the entirety of my day and night. I'll also have to figure out how to get my camera working. Probably just for the arts festival, as I doubt the CFL or Rogers would let people film during a game.

I'll be coming home for Columbus Day weekend October 8th to October 13th. I haven't figured out which bus line I'll be using. I prefer Ontario Northlands which would allow me to arrive on Friday, but I don't know whether they give discounts for early purchases.

Peering into my Crystal Ball:

Grey Cup 2010

These ones:

Versus these ones:

Superbowl 2011

These ones:

Versus these ones:

You can take that to the bank... but not a bookie. That would be unwarranted and dangerous.

Save our Souls

I saw Soul of Sand on Sunday after Stephen and Dad left to back to Sudbury on the final day of TIFF. I saw it in the new Bell Lightbox theatre where TIFF is headquartered.

The theatre was small, tall, and clean. (The latter being expected since it's fairly new) The director of the movie suggested that his movie, about the social world in New Delhi would subvert expectations and would have a hilarious conclusion. I didn't reall agree wit the former, and I assume the latter was meant to be an in-joke that no one else there could get as they hadn't yet seen the movie. The ending was not funny.

The story is about a lower class watchman who works like a serf for a rich landowner. He has followed in his father's footsteps as a watchman of a now-shut down silica mine and he lives on site with his wife. Obviously there is some tension in this arrangement between the man and his wife. Meanwhile the landowner is trying to corral his rebellious daughter into marrying a very old man who could buy the defunct mine and help him with his monetary troubles. She flees with her lover and they cross paths with the unknowing watchman. Events spiral out of control and murder and death ensue for all.

The movie is very obviously about class conflicts and exploitation. I'm sure there's also supposed to be a strong inference made from the end where the landowner is killed by his servants and they in turn are killed by the assassin, who I'm presuming from his frightening and oft-covered visage is of the lowest class. There was a lot of tension as events begin to seriously heat up, and I really like the well designed characters. Most of them show a lot of depth, except for the hired assassin who seems more like what Javior Bardhem was supposed to be in No Country for Old Men. He is not at all a bad character, but he is less complete than he is enigmatic. The move was very good and the characters were sympathetic, but the the movie is also pretty bleak, and so it wasn't quite a 'fun' afternoon at the movies.

I'm headed to The Ward

TIFF is in town; and while I've only seen one movie so far, I have been walking around a lot. On Sunday I took a look at some of the free exhibits related to TIFF but was a bit disappointed. One neat sounding exhibit was seemingly buried behind the ticket counter of the AGO, and I'm not paying for admission to the entire museum to see it. I'm not that committed. (That'll be funny in a few paragraphs)

I did see the inside of the Bell Lightbox. The public portion is a three floor area, that's not quite an atrium. It's kind of cramped but yet also vertical --like a stairwell. There's a louge, a gallery, and theatre, and some viewing rooms. (I don't know what they'll do with those later) Honestly, I don't think it's a pretty interior.

I did a U-turn last night and decided after 10PM to go see the midnight madness screening of John Carpenter's The Ward. I had to go all the way over the Ryerson for the midnight screening which meant I got back a little before 3AM. I don't think I want to do that again as it was as bad for me in the morning as I'd worried it would be.

Since I didn't have an advance ticket, I had to wait in line. But I managed to get lucky and buy a ticket for below face from another person. The rush line was fair sized, but the ticket holders line was enormous. Yet, the Ryerson theatre didn't seem that much bigger than the Bloor theatre, (Or much louder) so maybe it's width is deceptive. I was annoyed that there are, (of course) a huge amount of reserved seats in prime position that no one occupied.

There was a video from John Carpenter about having jury duty which was a little funny, but I was disappointed he wasn't there. I decided that with the time and lack of the director that I didn't want to stay for the Q & A.

The Ward is the story of a girl committed to a haunted insane asylum where she and the other inmates are threatened by a ghost of a girl and their fears are ignored by the doctor and nurse...and yes, it is all in her head. How did you see that twist coming?

Predictable twist aside, this was pretty good. Jump scares, good acting, good technical direction. Nothing really unique though.


~~
The real horror.... I may have to cover someone else's desk again at work for another week. (How the hell are people on vacation this much and still off at Christmas? Someone explain this to me!) I'll have been back on my own desk a measly day or two... or less depending. I've been at my own desk for slightly more than a week in like two months. Files are actually starting pile up because other guys don't do it when I'm not there. This is f-------g ridiculous. ...and yes, this is in time for the busiest day of the month. How did you see that twist coming?

Scott Pilgrim vs. Kevin

I saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, which I had been meaning to see before it left the theatres. Tuesday is apparently matinee night, but I couldn't take advantage of the discount because the labels on the self-serve ticket machine were confusing. (Adult package, Kids package, Ticket only T...wha?)

Scott Pilgrim is based off of a graphic novel series. In it, Canadian slacker Scott Pilgrim must battle the 7 Evil Exes of his new girlfriend. The comic and the movie are both littered with geek/slacker references and visual gags straight out of a cartoon or video game. If you didn't recognize these references you may think this is some kind of light-hearted Salvador Dali film.

The movie wasn't as quite as funny as I'd expected it to be. (Or maybe I just don't remember it all too well) It wasn't really a straight up comedy, so much as it was more of a well rounded action/comedy/romance. The visuals and soundtrack were excellent and integrated as well. The movie also featured a distinctive style of slacker humor which is quotable though maybe not laugh out loud all the time. (Verbal and visual pratfalls in context certainly are though) This movie features wackiness and dry wit.

The actors are all fun and for the most part are playing up some major characteristic giving the whole movie a very cartoon-y feel, but in a very good way that most other movies don't achieve when their actors just try mugging for the camera hoping for a similar feel.

Cera, (The titular character) is probably not a draw for this movie because he's so known for these roles, but he certainly fits one vision of the Scott Pilgrim slacker to a tee. Also, I found that he and his romantic opposite Ramona/Mary Elizabeth Winstead had some chemistry or at least good dialogue. So while their romance was shallow, it worked for me as a realistic relationship. In fact, the growing maturity of the leads in this wacky slacker cartoon was paramount to the story. Scott's platonic rebound relationship with a girl five years his junior is a great example of who he is when he starts out in this story; he's doing it for appearances both to his friends and himself, but also because nothing will ever come of it. I'm not going to go on about all of it though. There's a lot of depth here that may not be obvious at first glance.

The editing was occasionally really clever and eclectic. The special effects were also awesome. The action was inventive and unlike other action movies; it wasn't quick cut to death. There's a bass off, video game fighting, and great garage band rock.

On the topic of battles and video games references in the music and visual effects... it did seem weird in a way. Pilgrim and his friends are in a band. He has had girlfriends. He doesn't seem to do anything nerdy and yet all these in jokes are for geek culture. (He plays Dance Dance Ninja Revolution with his girlfriend and plays a theme from Final Fantasy but...) One character mentions video games once. What I'm getting at is that there doesn't appear to be any connection between the character and a lot of the reference jokes. He's not really a gamer, nor do his friends appear to be.

Also, the fighting does seem incongruous with the rest of the story. After all, every other cartoon effect we see may just be subjective, but the fighting is not and there's little else that people interact with that's as nutty. (I'm also wondering why Ramona references battling when she talks about the old days with her exes... who was she and her beaus fighting?) I feel that something should have been done to integrate it better.

Though the movie can be a little too inexplicable, it's a great example of a different kind of movie and one that can be both easily digestible and intriguing; and this kind of wackiness is right up my alley anyway.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World= slackers + coming of age romance story + live action cartoon + geek culture references + action + arcade feel = You win! Perfect!

Weekend at Kevin's

Me and Stephen did quite a bit over the weekend, perhaps more than I would usually do. On a somewhat temperate Saturday we saw Canada get spanked on home turf by Peru. The Canadian section was extremely vocal throughout the game, despite being outnumbered by Peruvian fans who I assume lived within the region. They were outshouted crucially on two major occasions when Peru scored. (Though I don't think that's a causational thing) Team Canada didn't give the locals much to cheer about spontaneously unfortunately. Even hopes for a surprise 49 yard field goal voiced by one fan were no realized. How shameful.



The Peruvian flag looks a lot like the Canadian one, which may have led to some trouble. At one point, with the score still tied one Peruvian fan came over to the Canadian stands waving his flag at what I'm sure he thought were fellow Peruvian supporters. Fortunately several incredibly level headed Canadians in wrestling masks came over to direct him back to his own stands. Then some security came by to help. Then another Peruvian. They enjoyed a very animated discussion about how great soccer was, then parted ways. There may have been some friendly punching as well.

After this incident, and with the Canadian team falling behind; the Canadian section began to turn their attention to the fans instead of the game. In the midst of one lively chant about Passports and who may or may not have them, Stephen leaned over and said to me, "You what I like about our country? The quiet dignity."

There were about ten thousand in the stands, notably less than those who turn out for regular Toronto club games. After the non-sellout for the TFC v. Crux Azul game, I concluded that season ticket holders were not likely to buy additional tickets for games not contained in the Major League Soccer package. But Saturday's game showed that the Canadian national team may be even less of a draw than international club competition.


Me and Stephen also went to see the Expendables, which didn't live up to it's awesome name with some kid of modern Dirty Dozen story, but was a great eighties style ensemble action movie. It was fun, there was action, but it perhaps wasn't memorable except in that it got so many big stars together. A few have been in the same movie before, (Jet Li/Statham, Lundgren/Stallone, Mickey Rourke/Alcohol) but it had a lot of charm. The good guys and most of the bad guys did have character, but several of them didn't have much to do in the film. Incidentally, I find that with modern fast editing, gun related action plays out much better than hand to hand fighting.





I think the best thing we did was on Friday, when we went to the Late Horror Improv show at the Baddog Theatre. We took a streetcar and subway to Broadview Station, in the east end of the city. When we got out of the subway, I was a little worried because I hadn't brought a map or an address. I just remembered from the site's directions that we wouldn't have to cross a street. Fortunately, we did find it in fairly short order as the theatre was just around a corner but pretty close to the subway. I was also a little concerned that we may have to leave early since the subways and streetcars don't operate past 2AM, and the show was starting at midnight. But that wasn't the case fortunately.

I was expecting a little more audience particpation from the description I'd read in the Globe, but the only thing the audience was asked was to provide a subject for this monster-themed improv play. A lady in the front responded to the question, "What were all expecting in the past to have had by now?" with, "flying car!" which was exactly what Stephen and I were thinking of as well. The story featured a group of tourists stranded on an island where time had no meaning, (As the players could not remember the chronology of events) and where new characters just seemed to keep popping up when necessary, (This was the island from LOST I guess) but worse, was terrorized by a mutant flying car. It was pretty funny, but I think it also helped that the production was very cheap too. (Only 5 dollars plus TTC fare) It wasn't the most memorable of stories maybe, (What with it being made up on the fly) but it was fun.



Cheap improvosational theatre halfway across town after midnight makes me feel bohemian.

Fakery

I was going about town to try and secure tickets for the upcoming World Cup qualifying match between Canada and arch rival Peru, (crickets) but I seem have been temporarily stymied in my quest to avoid paying ticket master an eight dollar commission on a twenty three dollar ticket.

First, my attempts to get to the BMO field (aka Beemo field) box office were prevented by the Ex, which would require me to pay a deposit to get through the carnival to pick up tickets. (Presumably, if I didn't get tickets I would get my $16 deposit back)

Second, I attempted to get discounts from the concierge that services a building that I'm not in, (RBC plaza) but he didn't have tickets for that game on offer. Or TIFF tickets, (Understandly, since it's a more complicated system) ... and he was out of discounted Cineplex passes until next week. He did have a friendly demeanor and a great mustache though. I also checked out the online concierge service for the RBC Center, (Where I also don't work) but they don't seem to be on offer on their website.

Note: For those wondering, the concierge service is run by the real estate owning company which provides various services for tentants, which in the case of these two buildings I don't work in, includes discounted tickets to various attractions. Fortunately, they aren't too picky about proving you actually work in the building.

Now I'm trying to arrange a deal through the TFC fansites, where fans offer resale tickets at face value, and include some at discount value as well. Failing that, I'll just purchase through ticket master. (Maybe tomorrow so I can avoid paying any deposits at the Ex)







The other thing that was on my mind last night was the spectacular vistas of space. I talked with Steve about Hubble telescope images which aren't exactly what they appear to be.

Not Sauron

These pictures are taken in black and white representing light at different wavelengths. Each filter is a certain wavelength of light which corresponded to an element. But the colors actually selected to assemble the color picture were driven by nothing more than aesthetic qualities and ease of differentiation. Some of the pictures will even show and give pretty colour to light that isn't in the visible spectrum.

I'm not saying there's not scientific value of course, but this image is not what a person could see with their eye unless they were a futuristic cyborg... who's computerized eye also happened to make the same colour picks and filtered out the same light as the scientists have.

No, that's not a Cyborg's eye either.

From what I understand though, wavelengths seem to correspond with colours anyway. So there is in fact a place on the spectrum that matches with some of the filters that they've used; they're just different colours than utilized.

But it also occurs to me that as less different wavelengths of light are filtered out, that the shapes would change and the colours/elements would appear more distinct. (Subject the nature of the present elements mind you) Is that not accurate? So if more filters could be used and combined to present a more accurate version of the visible spectrum, it would appear as a different shape and probably much brighter and indistintive. Like a blob of light.

Does that sound right? It's kind of disappointing.

You're not fooling anyone whitey.

Hide your wife, hide your kids

Steve, Tom; you may never forget this guy. The internet won't let you.



I can't believe that the autotune version of the viral video, (Yes, from actual local news) now has covers by school bands and other artists on Youtube. Then again, it's better than a lot of what's on the radio.

This is Madness!

You might find this interesting Steve: James Cameron Talks At the Mountains of Madness


This is really cool. An animation showing the discovery of all asteroid in the solar system from 1980 onwards:

Nice advice

When Skyping, do put on some clothes

NEVER!!!

Where the rubber meets the road

Rubber is a film about a tire that comes to life and uses psychic powers to destroy cans, animals, and blow up people's heads. Unlike a Tarantino picture, this film's cast (The few who are self aware anyway) have little interest in being in the retro grindhouse B-movie they've been drafted into and try to sabotage the event by killing the audience.

Just seeing the tire learning and doing things is surreal and funny enough. (It goes from experimenting with killing a water bottle, to ogling women's aerobics programs on tv, and having psychotic visions of destruction) But this movie has an amusing cast of bipeds as well.

Some of the good parts:

The tire approaches the sheriff interviewing the motel owner and as an act of revenge, blows up the motel owner's head. only a bit perturbed, the sheriff looks at the departing tire, pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and reads with no emotion, "Oh my god the kid's right ...the killer is a tire." Then he looks up at the sky in despair, slouches, and tosses the script away.

The sheriff painstakingly jacks up his car and removes a tire only to point at it and tell his deputies, "Alright, this is what our killer looks like..."

The police set up a trap for the tire, by poorly disguising a mannequin as a girl the tire was interested in and attaching dynamite to it. After ringing the doorbell of the tire's stolen abode, they hide in a van where they use a microphone to encourage the tire to blow up the girl. (The girl eventually has to be replaced as the speaker when the dialogue written by the sheriff gets a little too blue) This whole setup is so rediculously elaborate that one of the audience members knocks on the van and asks them what the hell they're doing. (Spoiler alert: This plan doesn't work)


This movie was a blast, and very funny. Kind of comicly bloody too, (I have more sympathy for the animal victims myself) so maybe not for everyone. But very funny all the same.

Before the film, we got a chance to meet Roger, the tire who rolled down the aisle to the front of the theatre and gave an interview with one of the festival coordinators who had the ability to psychically link with Roger. Roger was also able to say a few words to the rest of us too. (Spoiler alert: I think it was somebody else with a microphone)

A movie with a lot of Heart

The second-to-last movie I saw for Afterdark Toronto was from the UK and entitled, Heartless.

This movie is set in slummy east London and stars Jamie, depressed loner with a large skin deformity, (Like a heart shaped birthmark) on his face and arm. He lives with his mum, works with his brother as a photographer, (The family business) and still mourns the death of his father. While out taking pictures of his ratty neighborhood, Jamie begins to notice what appear to be gangs of demons in hoodies running about. These visions herald a violent crime wave in the neighborhood as the television begins reporting people being harassed and killed by a youth gang wearing demonic masks. Eventually Jamie comes face to face with the violence and is badly shaken.

Jamie spends much of the beginning of the film in a constant state of moping and sulking. He moons over one girl he barely knows, and makes a friend; but nothing seems to shake his quiet emo-mood. (His own hoodie doesn't help this comparison to teenage crybabies) Even encounters with the demon gang just seem to make him more withdrawn and depressed rather than say, fearful or paranoid. He's kind of annoying in this regard. Jamie's already-dead father is mostly absent from the movie, but he seems to play a pivotal role all the same.

His own losses are the catalyst to a strange meeting in the rooftop flat of an abandoned apartment with a powerful man who seems to suggest that he is the devil. There he is convinced to make a deal with the in exchange for a new life. Of course, things will probably not go as Jamie hopes. But at least Jamie's getting a little more proactive; it looks good on him.

The film has a couple of good characters, and a smidge of humour mostly due to a business like agent of the devil, an incredibly vain gay prostitute, and a devilish little girl. But as things get more lively and fun, they also seem to get more evil and tragic too. Kind of a weird dichotomy.

There's a lesson or two in the movie, and it's got plenty of good jump scares and anxious atmosphere as well as a surprising climax. The soundtrack fits with the whole ...melodramatic style of Jamie's dilemma with a lot of popular music, (Though not songs or artists I recognize) some of which has lyrics that seem way too apt.

Though not without a few miscues, this is a very good example of a well rounded movie and enthralling film with a genuine story arc.